What an amazing day!! I went to Stuart’s house and spent the day with him and his family. They had a bunch of people over and it was so much fun to watch the kids laugh and carry on!!
I really enjoyed watching the husband and wife interaction!! It reminded me of a time when I would see a husband treat his wife with respect and I could not understand it, nor did I believe it would ever happen for me. I know I have grown much in this area because, as I was watching the gentle touching and smiles between them, I no longer felt like it was so foreign. I felt such joy in watching the love exchange rather than feeling confusion.
I still flinch badly when someone approaches me and I do not see them coming. Stuart makes fun of me and we laugh about it. I’m hoping the Journey to Change will finally remove that completely!! I feel such shame when I startle and I miss my husband’s kind response to it. He was considerate when he walked into the room and tried to be sure I knew he was coming. Sometimes, when I did startle, he would laugh and that would get me to laughing also!! It felt good to laugh about it and I would move quickly from terror to laughter. He would never reach out to me until he knew that I was calmer and that helped me feel so much better. It is one of the things that I fear I will never have again with someone else.
When the fireworks show started, we all sat in chairs or on the grass in the front yard. It was so normal and regular that I felt such peace and happiness. Some of the ladies would sit on blankets and their children would lay with their heads in their laps. The moms would gentle brush locks of hair from their forehead and keep a hand on their back if the noise of the fireworks frightened them.
The neighbor’s had their own personal fireworks and I think they were better than the professionals!! All in all it was a wonderful day!!
My friend, Nick, said to me today that what I am doing is a hat trick. I asked him what that meant and he said, “Beautiful story, beautiful ride, beautiful lady. In hockey, when a single player makes three goals in one game, it’s very hard to do, so the fans throw hats on the ice to celebrate.” What a sweet thing to say!!